December 2009
feelings are so unreliable.
christmas eve was the best christmas eve i’ve ever had.
we were all at bruce’s house, christine, seth, isaac, caitlin and myself. it started to snow, they made me wait such a long time before i could walk outside and look. but when i did it was SO worth it. the ground was covered and my cheeks started to hurt from smiling. go figure people love christmas time so much! this happends!...
no better feeling than a hangover.
it’s so official. it’s like my body is literally saying, “hey you had too much fun last night. so now here’s the opposite.”
oh, and i must mention these people are good people (no specific order):
christine wilson
caitlin smith
megen baker
bruce and isaac curtis
aaron barton (even though i woke up with a text from him that...
i stayed up all night, and i miss this feeling.
my thoughts cripple me when i am sleep deprived. i have so much energy. my mom told me they are called the “sleepy sillies” i agree and disagree at the same time. court this morning went fantastic. i go back jan 12th to get my scores. and if i passed no more probation at all. isn’t that just great? i haven’t told any of my...
waking up at 4 o’clock in the afternoon only to realize that no one is home and you have court in the morning SUCKS.
the embarrassing songs i sing by myself during the early hours of the morning are the ones that speak to me the most. every once and a while i just need a break. i break from life. i take a step back from those “friends” of mine, come home, and relax. which isn’t as relaxing as it should be. it feels like adulthood is creeping up on me, and it scares me. job, college, car,...
“just because i don’t say anything doesn’t mean i don’t like you i open my mouth and i try and i try but no words came out.
without 40 ounces of social skills i’m just an ass in the crack of humanity i’m just a huge manitee a huge manitee
and besides you’re probably holding hands with some skinny, pretty girl that likes to talk about bands and all i want...
let me just say that christine’s house is great.
she, kyle and i are in the living room and her deaf father is really high trying to put on his shoes. he’s wearing christine’s lumberjack flannel/jacket. we’re all laughing really high. and the fact that afroman is playing makes it all perfect. this is a very appropriate way to start off the weekend.
“I am amazed. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Tall,...”
– Issei Sagawa
this cold weather is meant for lovers.
no wonder i am so cold…
desirae souverville
www.myspace.com/desisouverville
she’s awesome.
december 17th, 2009
things are going good. bruce is still great, my friend’s are all doing fine. robert is still upset with me, hopefully that’ll pass soon. i can’t believe christmas is almost here. and i can’t believe my mom + dad actually agreed on this whole trip to san diego, thing. i’m very excited, to be honest. i’m trying to forget that i have court on the 22nd. that’s...
“Night kills day And I’m watching the sun die Living moon taking up the whole sky Live moon don’t care about a dead sun Luna’s begun Darkness might never come to end Deathly light marks the scene of the crime Making night’s murder harder to bear Beware The moon drives the seas insane Soon the tide will take you in Why you, why bother to explain See the lunatic hanging...
leo
i put too much faith into those around me, no wonder i get hurt so often. faith, trust, same thing. human beings are not capable of living up to my ideal expectations. i don’t try to think this way, it just is. and with that being said, i am going to try and break this habit of mine. because i have something good infront of me, and i believe that my unrealistic expectations are going to ruin...
probably the best whiskey wednesday i’ve had ever?
we rode the train together and although it may have been freezing, i was warm with happiness. it happens often when i’m around you.
Listen
i don’t think you realize how big of a deal this is for me.
i can actually feel something this time.
and i don’t want it to stop.
these past two days have been refreshing
monday, took the first 3 parts of the ged. after, desi took me to pho and we had a nice little lunch together. then drove to bruce’s, without him being there and hung out in his house till he got off of work. stayed up really late, woke up early to some lovin’. and cartoons.
and the rest of my day was spent shopping and hanging out with the two of them again. went home, showered, and...
7:00 AM
i’m remembering why i avoid returning to my old insomniac ways.
being without sleep allows me to think, in depth, and remember…why does it hurt so bad to remember? it shouldn’t be this way. i should be able to look back and smile. feel the warmth of the memory creeping around my thoughts and let it all just s
i
n
...
it's not that...well..
maybe it’s my fault, for not speaking up before any of this was even an idea. but you hurt my feelings. yes, i know i’ve probably hurt yours as well. and i am truly sorry for that. because i know what it feels like. i just don’t understand why everything had to turn out this way, i thought something good was coming to me. and then it happened to you instead. i realize i had no...
fuck you
your relationship sickens me. i can honestly say seeing you two together made me want to vomit. thank god all relationships come to an end eventually.